


Quietly Making Noise

by a_quick_drink



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: 1940s, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Period Typical Attitudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 04:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13539600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_quick_drink/pseuds/a_quick_drink
Summary: Eddie knows Andy loves him. He also knows what they have is forbidden and it's been the undoing of many a relationship like theirs. Will there come a day when Andy changes his mind too?





	Quietly Making Noise

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the book [_Coming Out Under Fire_](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2344509.Coming_Out_Under_Fire) by Allan Bérubé.

They'd come for Sunday dinner but they weren't the only ones who had. Tonight it was the entire family, with Andy's sister, Beth, making an appearance, and a friend of hers whose eyes had been glued to Andy the entire time. The way Beth went on about her brother there was no doubt in Eddie's mind that she was trying to play matchmaker again; Andy being his usual charming, oblivious self wasn't helping matters.

Conversation around the table ebbed and flowed, mostly without him. Coming from a big family where meal times were a boisterous affair with everyone talking over one another to be heard, the lulls were awkward to him, though he'd attended enough meals with the Haldanes to know this was entirely normal for their much smaller family. He fit in well being a man of few words, but tonight it felt more like he was invisible.

Andy's knee knocked against his under the table and remained there as he passed Eddie a bowl of green beans. They shared a brief look, but it happened so quickly he feared he'd imagined it. Despite his waning appetite, Eddie helped himself to another serving. Andy turned away and resumed his conversation with Nancy who was seated across from him, beaming at him.

Eddie pushed the unwanted beans around his plate with his fork. Jealousy wasn't fair of him when society dictated they feign interest in the opposite sex lest they invite unwanted scrutiny that could end badly. It was the rules they had to play by, but that didn't make it any easier watching his lover all but flirt with an intelligent, attractive woman who had Andy's undivided attention.

He was grateful when Andy's mother got up to clear the table, and escaped under the guise of helping her while everyone else retired to the living room. Andy hesitated, but Eddie motioned for him to go, pretending he didn't hear Nancy ask Andy how he hadn't been snatched up already. Oh, he had, they just couldn't advertise that fact; he doubted they ever could.

In the kitchen, Eddie tuned out the conversation as he worked, taking his sweet time drying the dishes. Lost in thought, he fumbled the plate he'd been drying when someone gave his shoulder a squeeze. Tightening his grip on the plate, Eddie turned to give Andy a sour look.

"You trying to get me in trouble for breaking your mother's good china?" Eddie asked, flicking water at Andy.

Laughing, Andy brushed the droplets off his face with a swipe of his hand. "Wouldn't happen," he said confidently before lowering his voice to a whisper. "Because she loves you too."

The plate slipped again and Eddie quickly set it in the drying rack beside the sink before he dropped it. He loved how easily Andy expressed his feelings for him, but words weren't enough to allay the fears that'd been building for some time. He turned away to hide a frown.

Andy's hand trailed down Eddie's back and settled at his waist. "Let's go home," Andy murmured.

Eddie turned. "Nancy will be heartbroken," he teased.

Andy studied him for a long moment before glancing over his shoulder and stepping close enough that Eddie could feel the heat radiating from him. Andy's voice lowered to a purr. "You know my heart belongs only to you."

 _Does it?_ Eddie bit his tongue to prevent voicing the doubt and mustered a smile instead. He wanted to go home too. What he didn't want was to have the conversation he knew they needed to have when they got there. He wiped down the counter and followed Andy into the living room, just as another round of laughter erupted.

"Because that doesn't sound suspicious," Andy said as he perched on the arm of the couch by his sister, leaving the seat next to Nancy open. Eddie shot him a look but received a guileless smile in return.

"I was just telling Nancy about your college football days," Beth said to Andy as both her and Nancy wiped tears from their eyes. She turned to her friend. "Edward's got some good stories too."

"Oh, I don't think those are appropriate," Andy said quickly, getting waved off by his sister who turned her attention to Eddie.

"Well, there was that time in Melbourne," Eddie said with a smirk at Andy. "I think that'd be okay."

The girls nodded and Andy looked to the ceiling. "Lord help me," he groaned.

When they finally left an hour later, Eddie's mood hadn't lifted. He genuinely liked Nancy's sharp mind and even sharper wit, but it pained him to realize what had bothered him all along--that she was a perfect match for Andy, better than him because she could give Andy everything he couldn't, including a life he wouldn't have to hide, and that settled in Eddie's gut like a stone.

"What are we doing?" Eddie asked as he stared at the crack in the wall of their apartment. He'd put off repairing it because it'd seemed harmless when they'd noticed it, but over time it had enlarged considerably.

Stretched out on the couch with his legs resting in Eddie's lap, Andy didn't look up from the book he was reading. "What we usually do at night?"

"No, I mean...this." Andy looked up then and Eddie gestured between them. "This living together and saying we're only friends. Don't imagine anyone thinks anything of it right now, but what will they think five years from now? Ten? We can't hide forever." His mouth went dry and the words stuck in his throat. "Will you even want this years from now?"

Andy bookmarked his page and sat up. Instead of responding, though, he stared at the book in his hands. That he couldn't immediately answer made Eddie's stomach turn.

"Is this because of tonight?" Andy asked.

Eddie's cheeks burned. He didn't know why he bothered trying to conceal anything from Andy when the man's perceptive ability was like some superpower in one of those comic books he'd seen guys passing around during the war. He shrugged. "Somewhat, but it's been on my mind for awhile."

Andy nodded and licked his lips, speaking slowly. "Well, I don't know what people will say. Can't imagine it'd be anything different than what they'd say now if they knew, but I don't care whatever the case may be." He reached for Eddie's hand and laced their fingers together, lifting Eddie's hand to his lips. "I meant it when I said I was in this for the long haul, and I don't care how difficult it may get. I'd ask you to marry me right now if I could."

A band tightened in Eddie's chest and made it hurt to breathe. "But you can't. You can't have that and I can't give you a family. I'll always be the dirty little secret that could ruin your life. Is that really enough for you?" _Am I enough for you?_

He never would have have questioned Andy's commitment had he not known guys who'd returned from the war and buried that side of themselves, some abandoning lovers they'd once sworn they'd never leave because living a lie was easier. It could one day be them and that possibility left him deeply unsettled.

Andy squeezed his hand. "I'm your secret too. It won't be easy going forward, but I want to believe it'll get better some day. Besides, when has something being difficult ever stopped us before?" Eddie snorted and Andy leaned into him, pressing a kiss behind his ear. The vise around his heart loosened, though he doubted the feeling would go away completely any time soon. "I'm sorry if I made you doubt me."

Eddie sighed. "It's not you, I've just been frustrated with all this pretending, and tonight... I don't know."

"Well I'm an idiot who's taken this long to realize how awful it must be for you to deal with my family's meddling right in front of you."

"Your words, not mine."

Andy huffed a laugh and curled up against Eddie's side. "I don't like it either. They mean well, but it drives me crazy they don't listen when I say I'm not interested. I've been thinking it's time to tell them about us so they'll stop."

Eddie's breath hitched in his throat. "You don't have to do that. What if they don't take it well?" It was impossible to gauge how anyone would react to such news. He'd been shocked his parents handled it as well as they had. It made no difference to them who he spent his life with so long as he could support himself, and that was the end of the discussion. It'd break his heart if Andy's family didn't at least react similarly.

"I've made peace with the possibility of losing them over it because what we have is so incredible and rare that I have to take that chance." Andy's hand slid up over Eddie's heart, up his neck, and settled on his cheek. He turned Eddie's head and kissed him sweetly. "I almost lost you once. I can't lose you, Eddie. I can't."

Eddie blinked away the tears welling in his eyes. "Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

~ * ~

While making dinner several weeks later, the thump of the front door closing was the only warning Eddie got before hurricane Andy blew into the kitchen and swept him off his feet, spinning him around.

"Remember that article in _Time_ the other night?" Andy asked between kisses.

Eddie hummed an affirmative against Andy's lips. How could he forget? It was the first article of its kind as far as they knew, about two women in New York who, like them, had successfully dodged the military's scrutiny. Most surprising was the sensitivity with which the article had been written, portraying the couple not as mentally ill predators who should be locked away, but as citizens who'd served their country honorably and lived otherwise average lives which begged the question of why they were discriminated against. What that had to do with Andy going over to help his mother clean out the attic, though, Eddie couldn't guess.

"Mom said it made her think of us and asked if that's what we were too. I couldn't lie to her." Andy averted his gaze, looking like a scolded puppy. It wasn't how they'd agreed to reveal it when they were ready, but Eddie couldn't find it in himself to be upset when he knew he would've done the same.

Eddie touched Andy's cheek and smiled when their eyes met. "So am I correct in assuming she's okay with it?" he asked slowly.

Andy nodded. "She doesn't understand it all, but I don't expect her to." How could she when they didn't fully understand it themselves? All they had was a feeling they'd never had reason to question until they were old enough to realize they were a little different than their peers.

"And your father?"

Andy's bright smile faltered. "It's going to take him some time to come around, but they're okay." He blew out a sigh of relief but then frowned. "I wish I could give you more."

Eddie pulled him into a hug. It still wasn't a guarantee they'd last but he supposed there was no such thing, same as it was for anyone else in love. He was enough--always had been--he'd just wasted so much time worrying about the what ifs that he'd lost sight of what he'd had all along.

"You're all I need."

A happy purr rumbled in Andy's throat. "We're off the hook for dinner this Sunday, but mom expects us there next weekend."

"And no more matchmaking?"

"No more," Andy said with a laugh. "But I've no doubt there will be awkward questions."

Eddie buried his nose in Andy's neck. He could handle awkward questions--and anything else so long as Andy was by his side. He smiled to himself when Andy hugged him tighter, like he was holding on for dear life; Eddie certainly was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! If you enjoyed this story, please take a moment to leave a kudos and/or comment. I appreciate the support. :)


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